Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
