she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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