I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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