she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
