So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
