giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
