with your own penis?
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
