Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
