Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
