We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
