make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
