Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
