my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
