You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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