Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
