Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
