You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
