doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
