I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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