Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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