mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
