Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
