How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
