so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
