How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
