we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
