where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
