are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
