NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
