haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
