Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she looked like the before picture.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize