she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
