come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
