you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
