I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
