What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
