Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
