Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
