Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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