My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
