Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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