I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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