i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
