One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
