I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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