I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
