I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can I color on your dick again?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
