I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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