it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
