We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
time to smoke my breakfast
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
