I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
