Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
