quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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