Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
