I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
