So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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