i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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