Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
