Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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