if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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