he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
