whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
you never un-have a 4some
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
