oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
