I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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