i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Can I color on your dick again?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
