Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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