I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize