One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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