No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Mom said you looked used
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
