just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
