it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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