ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Randomize
