i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
